Top 7 Ways To Become A Better Crappy Boss
Are you a crappy boss? Would you like to be a BETTER crappy boss? Would you like to be that useless waste of space that has the innovation of a coathanger?
Well now you can with our crappy boss 101 seminar. Here are some of the things you’ll learn:
1. Not Invented Here (NIH). Eliminate all ideas that originate from the outside. Who needs an effective network?
2. Intimidate the Risk-Takers. You know who I’m talking about - the folks who dare to be different and push boundaries. We’ll show you how to put them in their place.
3. Reward complacency. “A 40 year career with us is like a one year career repeated 40 times!”
4. Pretend to value your employees’ input. Ask for their ideas, nod reassuringly as they give them to you. Put them in a big file. Never look at them again.
5. Manage your staff’s time. Lunch is not an opportunity to discuss things over a meal - it’s a time of day. Make sure your employees remember that.
6. Remember your credo: Sanity and Order are the rules of the day. Creative and Crazy need not apply.
7. Kill The Creative People. Not literally, just take everything meaningful away from them. The freedom to create, the latitude to collaborate, the incentive to think. Make their lives miserable. Focus the negatives in their ideas, ignore the positives. Soon, disheartened from the loss of their innovation haven, they’ll leave for greener pastures.
You’ll learn these things and so much more. Sign up today - the first 100 students get a hand-crafted statue of our founder:
Image Copyright © A. Lipson 2000
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3 Responses to “Top 7 Ways To Become A Better Crappy Boss”
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If you are working “Creative and Crazy”, then you might be an artist, or maybe you are in the advertising game or perhaps you are doing research… but you are not doing engineering.
Try this one on your customers, “We have this Creative and Crazy way of doing things and this one of your Creative and Crazy extended outages. But hey, we love an adventure! Think of this as an opportunity to remember the good ole days before we had any network access”.
See how quickly they find someone else who can provide “Sanity and Order” instead.
The guy who works a job for 40 years and makes one small but significant suggestion for an incremental process improvement each year is incredibly valuable. Much more valuable than the guy who wants to redesign the whole shop from the ground up. Sadly, most bosses are more likely to listen to the latter than the former.
Tel ,congrats, you are this weeks crappy boss.
That or you have a crappy job and are trying to justify it.
Nobody said you have to be crazy, but creativity is a strength in ANY job.
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